LIFE UPDATE!!! I recently moved 800 miles away from my home and all my people to Washington, D.C! Hints the title of today’s conversation “Leap with me”, and boy did I leap. I’ve been in our nation’s capitol for almost a month now, and there is no lack of faithfulness and providence from God in this season. Its been a few months since I’ve updated this blog, but I promised myself when I started this again it would be completely and totally led by the Lord, no timetable or posting schedule, just going off the convictions of God in what HE wants me to share with my tiny corner of the internet. Well, now that I a am month into the scariest thing I have ever done, I feel the Lord pressing me to share of His Goodness in this season.

4 weeks. In December of 2022, I had 4 weeks to quit my job, sublease my apartment in Mobile, AL, move into my new apartment in D.C. and then start my new job working for a United States Senator. Looking back now, I’m not sure how I made it here all in one piece! So when I say I “leaped” there was no walking into this life change, testing out the water, and then deciding, it was simply trusting in the Lord and LEAPING into this new phase of life. And I want to get to the part of God’s goodness because it is EVIDENT in my story. But, I think first we have to talk about the Human part in all of us, the part that doesn’t want to trust God with our dreams, the protective instinct that kicks in when God calls you to something out of your “plan”.

The fear that undeniably accompanies us when we choose to trust God.

The laundry list of fears I had when I decided to move up here was long, let’s just touch on a few.

1. Fear of leaving my family, Alabama – the only place I have ever lived
2. Moving to D.C. and staying forever, never going back home
3. Chasing a career and never getting married, and then never having kids
4. Loneliness
5. Failure
6. Missing life moments, like engagements and babies for all of my people back home.

And these only scratch the surface of the fear that the enemy was reminding me of daily. As I prayed for clarity from God I originally was afraid to even mention these fears to him. These things that my flesh has been so desperately holding onto. Afraid if I gave them to God He wouldn’t be faithful, He wouldn’t provide them, He wouldn’t care about my dreams {marriage, children, success, moving home one day}.

Who am I to think the God of the Universe doesn’t care about me? Doesn’t care about the deepest desires of my heart. And who am I to hold on to them as if He doesn’t already know? As if He didn’t place them there.

Trust in the Lord and do what is good; dwell in the land and live securely. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires. Psalm 37:3-4.

Finally, I had to surrender those fears to Him. To say, “Lord, these are the things that I have been holding onto that my flesh desires more than anything. Giving them to you feels like I’m losing them and if I let go they won’t ever come back. But I will, I’ll give them to you, I will let them go and trust that the best place for those fears and dreams is at the feet of Jesus. For God, you do all things for my good and your Glory.”

Let’s take a pause on that – My good and HIS glory. WHOAH. Everything came into perspective in that moment of deep and intimate prayer. THIS ISNT ABOUT ME. It never was. Not my life, not my move, not my career, not even my eventual marriage/family. I exist to bring God glory. Yes, that’s a period – not a comma. That revelation has been the most sanctifying part of my life thus far. My life exists to glorify Christ and to grow his heavenly kingdom because knowing and believing that changes how I live my life.

So I gave my fear up to the Lord, trusting that He brought me here and declaring that this season will be fruitful. There is a God reason I am here, and I am trusting and asking God to use me to grow His kingdom and not my own.

I wish I were writing this in 10 or 15 years saying “I got everything I wanted, life is good and so is God!” But that’s not the gospel. It is not transactional, A true and intimate relationship with Christ is found in this season of in-between. God hasn’t revealed to me what my “mission field” here is, I haven’t met the “one”, I don’t even have a life plan (like no plan at all, literally not even an idea of a plan). Yet, I fully trust in the Lord. And I don’t know if I have ever been able to completely and honestly say that before.

There is a lightness to my life that I can’t explain now. Isn’t it crazy how when you let go – when you completely surrender the things you have held onto your entire life to the one true God, you feel more in control than ever? There is a steadiness to my life now that I never had when I was holding onto those fears.

There is a freedom I never experienced before. There is Freedom and joy that could never come from getting every |earthly| thing I want. So, maybe those things never happen for me, maybe God has something completely different that I would never experience without giving up the other. Or maybe, God provides everything I’ve ever wanted and I just needed to take it off the pedestal I’d put it on and allow God to work it out in his timing. The truth is, it doesn’t matter what the outcome is. Because this isn’t about me, it never was. May the banner of my life be “To glorify and grow the kingdom of heaven.” There is no caveat to that, no additional “and have. a white house in Alabama with a husband and four kids” Just simply, Grow the kingdom of heaven, Whatever that looks like for the Lord.

So that was a long way to say, leap with me. Ask God to show you what HE is calling you to do. What is he asking you to give up? Maybe yours isn’t a life-changing move, maybe it’s simply giving God your desires and trusting Him with them. I left the darkness and fear behind, surrendering my deepest desires to God and it was the scariest thing I have ever done. But He has taught me more in this season than any before. And if He never provides me with anything ever again, He has already given me more than I deserve. I know there will be days when my flesh wins, my desires creep in and I start to doubt God and His plan. But in His goodness, He always brings us back with gentle reminders of His provision.

So, Live in the Light with me, Leap into what scares you most – knowing that if it is from God, it is good.

“For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light — for the fruit of the light consists of all goodness, righteousness, and truth. Ephesians 5:8-9